Rage Is Contagious
by JH1992
Summary: RavBB Fic. Suicide mentions. Slight, alright not that slight, cursing. Fun for the whole family!
1. Introduction

"It's not my fault I have to control my emotions! Do you think I _want_ to? Do you think I _like_ to? Well," Raven hissed, eyes glowed eyes glowing crimson, her body shifting into attack mode. "Believe me. You. Thought. Wrong!" 

Beast Boy's face contorted into a mixture of shock and rage. She thought he was stupid? She thought he didn't care? His body stiffened, his fists clutched. Raven's angry words were like a horn to his ears. "You think I'm stupid, Raven? I'm not! I care about you! That's why I yell! I CARE ABOUT YOU, RAVEN!"

Raven's eyes narrowed, but still remained a fiery red. She backed away to her room, ignoring the panting green Titan. His face showed rage, but his eyes told a whole 'nother story.

"AAARGH! Why does she do this?! Doesn't she know I don't mean what I say? What is her problem?!" Beast Boy yelled, banging his fists on the counter and throwing his glass off of the table. Unknown to him, another Titan had witnessed the whole scene.

"Her problem is she cares too. Only she can't show it. I thought you'd understand that by now," Cyborg said softly, emerging from the shadows. Beast Boy jumped, causing a plate to break. Cyborg winced. There goes the good china.

"Yeah, I know she can't be happy or cheerful or crack a smile, or for ONCE laugh at my jokes. No, it's too goddamn hard for her! Ugh, she's such a... a... mystery!" Beast Boy cried, stumbling with his words.

"A mystery? Of course Raven's a mystery. Do you know about her past? Do you know she's not all human? Do you know how hard it must be to control powers like those every day? It's no wonder she doesn't talk about herself! You're just being ignorant in saying that you care. Raven knows that. It's tearing her apart, knowing that she loves someone, but can't show it!" Cyborg exclaimed, his voice getting angrier as he continued. He took a deep breath and bent down to pick up the remains of the broken kitchenware.

"H-how do you know this?" Beast Boy said testily, turning away from Cyborg, who looked up from the debris.

"You know when you have these fights? Do you know where Raven goes? She goes into her room, locks the door, and cries. She cries for hours, Beast Boy! And why? Because of you. You're too... too... busy to notice that she loves you! And guess what? Since you obviously can't comfort her, I do! I talk to her, help her! And because Raven's so stressed about trying to be emotionless, she keeps her anger inside of her until... until... she can't take it anymore. I've stopped her once from suicide, but she keeps trying to hurt herself. This can't go on man... it's killing her."

Beast Boy could have sworn his heart stopped. He was the cause of her attempted suicide? He was the one she cried for hours about?

"So... so Raven could have died, and it would have been my fault?" Beast Boy whispered, his voice cracking. He looked through the large window, avoiding Cyborg's glances.

"That's why you gotta stop doing this, BB. Raven's unstable. One more big fight... who knows what could happen?" Cyborg said softly, getting up off of the floor and throwing the broken glass in the garbage.

For a moment, there was only silence. Then-- a sob broke through the room. Cyborg looked up, alarmed.

"It's all my fault! Why do I do this? I-I can't believe... I almost killed her Cyborg! And if she wasn't here right now... oh god, I don't know what I'd do to myself!" Beast Boy was now full-out crying, his green head in his arms against the counter, shaking with every bone-racking sob he took.

"Man, man, it's ok! Calm down, Beast Boy, calm down," Cyborg cried, patting him gently on the back. Suddenly, Beast Boy's head shot up, and the sobbing stopped. Cyborg's hand froze in mid-air.

"I have to talk to Raven, Cy. Be back... later..." Beast Boy mumbled. He quickly ran up the stairs to Raven's room, wiping his eyes as he ran. Cyborg shook his head at the retreating green boy.

"Doesn't know what he's gotten himself into," Cyborg clucked softly to himself, staring out into the window and into the sky. The moon was a rather ugly shade of yellow, the stars clouded and bleak. Cyborg sighed. Sometimes his life related to the moon. Ugly one day, clear and bright the next. Always changing, never exactly quite the same.

.oOo.

Author's Note: Wheeee! This is just the Intro of my (hopefully) on-going story. Maybe I won't abandon this one, eh?

Okay now to straighten some things out.

Robin and Starfire: Erm... Let's just say they were on a date and make the RobStar fans happy. So they don't know this happened. Ok?

The kitchen window: I know there's not a window in the kitchen (Or is there?) but in this story there is. So um yeah.

Oh yeah. One more thing.

REVIEW.

Roses are red,   
Violets are blue,   
Cheese makes me happy,   
And reviews do too!


	2. Where's Raven?

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Teen Titans. DC Comics does. I think. Cartoon Network? Eh, it ain't me anyways.

* * *

**Chapter Two**

"Hey Star?" Robin yawned, sleepily lifting his head from her shoulder. Starfire glanced up at him. "Do you think they're done?"

"Argumenting? Most likely," Starfire sighed warily. A cold wind nipped at the couple's shoulders, rain drizzling down, almost like pieces of the moon falling down on them. Robin didn't move, but instead stared straight ahead into the darkness of Jump City. Starfire shivered, but otherwise didn't move.

"I don't know what's been happening lately," Robin said, his voice raspy. "The team... It's just not the same anymore. Raven's been too quiet, Beast Boy's been too agressive, Cyborg... He just hasn't been the same, you know?"

"Yes," Starfire agreed, slowly tracing circles on her thigh. Her voice suddenly became quiet. "It has not been the same... Not at all."

For one silent, cold, moment Robin and Starfire's world was one.

Then it stopped. Beast Boy's scream broke through the cold air. Robin jumped up, pulling Starfire up with him. Together they burst through the roof door and into Titans Tower.

.oOo.

"Beast Boy! What's the matter?" Robin yelled, panting, Starfire and Cyborg right behind him. They stood in the dark, next to the one place where everyone was not welcome. Raven's room. Usually it was just intimidating, but today it seemed almost too gloomy, too haunted.

"She... She's gone. I-I _killed_ her!" Beast Boy sobbed into what looked like Raven's cloak, breaking Robin's train of thought.

"What? Beast Boy you can't be serious!" Robin cried. Robin's stomach twisted and churned, giving him that feeling as if someone had just punched you, without you seeing beforehand. Beast Boy slowly nodded through his sobs, pointing toward Raven's room. Through his mask, Robin's eyes widened. Pushing through Beast Boy, he and the others shoved into Raven's room.

Robin scanned the room with his eyes, looking for any sign of Raven. Nothing. No one item was out of place, and everything was still. Only the slight pitter-patter of rain was ringing in their ears, like a faint bell about to lose its sound.

"Robin? I-Is Raven here?" Starfire squeaked, chewing at her thumbnail. Her heart pounded in her ears, drowning out every noise the others made. Cyborg scanned the room half-heartedly, his sensors blinking dully.

"What do you think?" Robin said darkly, not facing the two Titans. His shoulders slumped, and suddenly everything had changed. Their leader had practically given up, and now nothing stopped them from losing all hope. Starfire's realization of this made her gasp.

"Well she was here. Looks like she just left," Cyborg said shakily, looking up at Robin and Starfire, only Starfire returning the glance. "My heat detectors sense faint warmth."

"I think that was me," Beast Boy said softly, his voice wavering. Raven's cloak was clutched in his left hand, his right hand hiding something from their view. He spoke from the doorway, his shadow creating puzzles on the cold floor. "I sat on her bed for a second."

There was an awkward silence. It was one of those things, Cyborg thought to himself. One of those things you don't think it would--or could, even happen. Until it did.

"There wasn't any note? Any sign that Raven left?" Robin inquired, rubbing his chin. His heart just wasn't in it. Everyone knew that. It wasn't just another Titan, who wasn't as insecure as Raven. Her decisions were final, and well thought out. It made it hard to find someone who didn't want to be found, assuming she was still alive.

"No... Except for the fact that RAVEN ISN'T HERE, YOU DUMBASS!" Beast Boy screamed, clutching Raven's cloak to his chest. Cyborg and Starfire jumped back a bit. Robin finally turned toward the three.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that. I'm trying to help, while all you do is sit around crying your eyes out!" Robin hissed to Beast Boy, glaring at him. Starfire and Cyborg watched helplessly as the two turned against each other. Everything was going wrong, and no one could help.

"Friends? Is it possible that Raven has gone out for the night? A 'night on the town', if I am correct?" Starfire said feebly, tugging at her skirt.

"Of course Star! What a great point!" Robin laughed falsely. It was apparent that he was just saying that to make Starfire happy, and it wasn't fooling anyone. Including Starfire. But she just stood there, pretending to be the naive little alien girl. Again. Tension and anger were building in each of their minds, a little seed that grew every time they were pushed in the wrong way, until it bloomed, and took over them. Unfortunately Raven was an early bloomer.

"What should we do now?" Cyborg asked, massaging his broad forehead. Beast Boy's eyes burned with rage.

"WHAT SHOULD WE DO? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT WE SHOULD DO! WE'RE GONNA GO OUT, AND SEARCH FOR RAVEN! OR MAYBE YOU JUST DON'T GET IT, SINCE YOUR BRAIN IS HALF-SCRAP METAL?!" Beast Boy roared, dropping Raven's cloak, his right hand still clutched tightly together. Cyborg seemed to lose his cool, but wasn't very good at showing it. He didn't say anything, but nodded stiffly, his mouth a tight, straight line.

"Beast Boy. Calm down. You know what happened last time. Don't make me do what I shouldn't," Robin hissed, making direct eye contact with Beast Boy, almost daring him to challenge him back. A slow moment passed, then Beast Boy sharply looked to his left, towards Starfire and Cyborg. They stared back.

"So what, man? We gonna search or what?" Cyborg said harshly, a bit of hurt leaking into his voice as well. Beast Boy slowly raised his eyes up to the giant man, and Cyborg raised his eyebrows.

"Uhh... Yeah," Beast Boy said sheepishly, bending down and picking up Raven's cloak, wrinkled and weathered from its recent abuse. Cyborg watched his every move, his metallic arms crossed.

"I'll take downtown. Beast Boy, you take upper Jump. Cyborg, you search Raven's usual hangouts, see if anyone's seen her. Starfire, you stay here, in case she comes back," Robin ordered, looking quickly to see if everyone agreed. They did. With a sharp nod of his head, Robin turned and silently walked out of Raven's door. Starfire watched him as he left, her green eyes piercing Robin's retreating back.

Beast Boy sighed, looking like he was about to apologize, but didn't. "So I'll go--"

"You heard him. Go," Cyborg snapped, taking a small step toward Beast Boy. Starfire watched with wide eyes. "I thought you wanted to find your dear darling Raven?"

Beast Boy opened his mouth to speak, but suddenly fell quiet with the touch of a single alien's hand. He stared at the floor, then mumbled something, something no one could hear. Cyborg cleared his throat loudly, a signal for Beast Boy to leave. Sighing, Beast Boy morphed into a hawk and flew out of Raven's open window.

Without three members of the team, Raven's room seemed creepier than ever before. Ghosts and demons danced in the shadows, hidden creatures whispering in the wind and rain. Starfire avoided Cyborg, who was watching her intently.

"You better stay here," Cyborg choked out. Starfire snapped back to reality, though it felt like a dream. No, a nightmare. "Donno... She-She might come back."

Starfire put an arm around Cyborg's enormous back, the cold metal piercing her skin, reminding her once again that no one was normal here. "I am sure she will, Cyborg."

"You know what Starfire? I'll stay here. Raven'll come back. Yup. She will," Cyborg was suddenly cheerful, and it scared Starfire. "And then, you know what? After we find her, we can all go sing and dance and be happy together!"

Starfire bit her lip. Never had she seen Cyborg--the team--act so terrible toward each other.

"That's what you want right Starfire? Right? Peace, love, no pain? No hurt? Right?!" Cyborg shouted, coming closer to her with every word. Starfire quivered under his size.

"Cyborg? I am sorry if I have done wrong! Please, do not--" Starfire was backed into a corner, Cyborg towering over her, when she was cut off.

"Get away from her!" A dark figure whispered, deadly serious. "Get away from her."

.oOo.

Robin slammed his foot angrily against the gas petal, dodging cars as he did so. Raven was nowhere to be found, not that it was a huge surprise. Every alley, every nook and cranny; Nothing! This made Robin even angrier, and surged forward, nearly hitting a large bus, which honked in annoyance. It wasn't just that he couldn't find Raven--It seemed he was always saving her, she was always in some danger that he needed to come rescue her from. Almost if that she... Liked it! Liked being saved at the nick of time! By Robin, too! He instantly thought of Starfire, and shook his head inwardly. Raven wouldn't do that... Would she?

"Aaarrgh!" Robin screamed as a large motorcycle slammed into him, breaking his concentration. He swerved and slid a good fifteen feet, nearly falling off the bridge he was driving on. Panting and clutching his ribcage, Robin looked down. Only an inch away were the black waters that surrounded his home. Wincing with every small move he made, Robin slowly got up, and staredup atthe face of his attacker.

"Red... Red X?" Robin gasped, his eyes full of hate and surprise.

"You got it," Red X breathed, crossing his arms. Wind nipped at his cape, giving him an eerie, half-dead look. His voice was more serious, more mature than his last visit.

"But why are you here? What did I do to you?!" Robin yelled angrily, taking a step toward him. Red X narrowed his eyes at the movement.

"You wanna fight, tough guy? Didn't get enough yet?" Red X taunted, tilting his masked head. "_Murder_ isn't good enough?"

Robin stood, eyes wide open. Murder? Red X had to be on some kind of drugs, or something.

"What the hell are you talking about?!" Robin hollered, the wind whirling around them, making it hard to hear.

"Shut up! You know what you did!" Red X bellowed, throwing some kind of bomb at Robin, causing him to cough and stumble. "And now you're gonna pay!"

Robin coughed, then spoke out harshly. "Red X, I don't know what you're on, but leave me alone! I've got enough problems already!"

"SHUT UP!" Red X roared, tossing a blade in the shape of a red X at Robin. It hit him in the ankle, tearing his costume and causing him to fall down. He barely caught onto the side of the bridge, his legs dangling toward the water. Rain slowly dripped down on Robin's head, giving him the illusion that his head was bleeding.

"I swear to God, after I find Raven I'm going to kick your lying ass off!" Robin cursed at him, spitting at Red X's feet. This took him over the edge. Grinning madly, Red X kicked swiftly at Robin's hands and with a startled cry he fell down, down into the cold black waters.

"Hope birds can swim, Robbie," Red X whispered, throwing his masked head back in insane laughter.

.oOo.

"And in other news tonight, a young girl's body has been found in downtown Jump. Ronald Bronzo has the story. To you, Ron," A perky, blonde reporter read, organizing her papers. Beast Boy watched dully, sipping some dark liquid as he did so.

"That'd be ten-fifty, sir," Said a short, hairy, man, wiping his hands on his stained apron. Beast Boy nodded glumly and reached into his back pocket for some change. Two burly men shuffled their pool cues and talked in low voices, creating a low din. Beast Boy pulled out a wrinkled and damp twenty and absentmindedly shoved it toward the man, watching the news all along.

"Thank you Angela. Now, just two hours ago, the body of teenager Leona Mitchell was found in a nearby dumpster. Friends and family have refused to comment. However, one witness has spoken out. This is Chaz December, and he has witnessed this horrible crime," The reporter grimly passed the microphone to a young gothic male with black hair and a gray shirt, featuring a ghost pac-man. Beast Boy raised his eyebrows at the boy, and suddenly anger bubbling inside of him, and didn't know why.

"Yeah uhh... I was walking home at like eight, I had'ta pick up the car, then I heard like this really screwed up scream. So I stopped and made sure the girl was ok, cause you know, people gotta do these things. And there was this huge-ass black... Uhh... I donno what'a call it. Like an explosion or something or whatever, the smoke that was left over, but it wasn't exactly like that. But close. And yeah, so then I see this person--I couldn't tell if it was a chick or a guy, I only saw the back of their head, but it was dark hair. Like a dark cape too. I think it was black. Or really dark blue. And they were rushing, like they were scared or something. By then I was thinking where the hell was the scream coming from, then I notice the dumpster's open, it usually isn't, those lazy bastards never clean it anyways. So then I look in it and there was like this bag, and I could see red hair sticking out, so I'm freaking out, I mean there was a goddamn _dead girl_ in the trash! And then I like threw some crap at my neighbor's window and she called the police, and now I get to tell the world that I saw a dead girl," Chaz spoke slowly, sticking his pale hands in his black pants, the reporter flinching at his language, though it was beeped out.

Beast Boy's stomach froze, his skin turning icy. It was Raven. It had to be. Who else used black energy, had dark hair, and a dark blue cape? Eyes staying glued to the TV, he watched as if his life depended on it.

"Though we have recieved a description, the killer has yet to be caught. All people are urged to be on the lookout for a '5"5 male or female with dark hair, suspicious clothing and questionable actions. If you have any information about the killer, please call our news hotline at once," The reporter concluded, facing the camera, and Beast Boy.

"Oh my god," Beast Boy whispered, realization bleeding through him. His hand trembled, the glass he held threating to fall. Raven murdered another human being, something any other criminal would be killed for. Would she be killed? Cyborg's words echoed in his ears.

_It's tearing her apart._

_Raven's unstable._

_One more big fight... Who knows what could happen?_

_Who knows?_

.oOo.

Author's Note:

Hey guys, what's up? Thanks soo much for reviewing, it means a lot to me. I know it's short; I know I intoduced a lot of uhh... Stuff in this chapter... Yeah I donno, it seemed semi-okay to me anyway. I know, this story is kinda fast-paced, and I'm not the best at this stuff, but bear with me. I tried working on the grammer, but it's still kinda... eeh... Tell me if I should change the rating. Oh and props to anyone who knows who Chaz December is! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHEENA! Go check out her stories, they kick ass (IceQueen071)!

And now...

A haiku for my reviewers...

_A review makes me _

_Happy and giddy inside_

_So make me happy_

(Please? Hehe I suck at haikus.)


	3. Bleak

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Except a bunch of CDs. 

"R-Raven?" Cyborg yelled, crying out in joy. Starfire, seeing her chance, jumped out from under Cyborg, who barely noticed.

The dark figure slowly emerged from the shadows, revealing none other than Raven. She looked dead tired, a ghost living in flesh. Cyborg ran up and grabbed Raven, pulling her into a large hug. She pulled back from him. Cyborg looked at her, hurt playing around in his eyes.

"You tried to hurt Starfire," Raven whispered, and her eyesclosed."Never... Never try to hurt the innocent, Cyborg... Especially when they're your friends."

"Raven, please, do not worry! I am fine! We were so worried about you! Where did you go? Are you unhurt? Are you mad?" Starfire's mouth was going a mile a minute, her hands flying up in glee. Raven shook her head sadly.

"No, Starfire. I'm not mad. Not anymore," Raven smiled weakly at her. A police siren wailed loudly from the town, and Raven's face truly showed fear. Cold, raw fear, the kind that makes you stop in your tracks and bolt for the door.

"Bu listen to me. I have to go. I lo-I'll miss you... And I'm so sorry. Tell Beast Boy... It's not his fault... And I l-love him. And Robin... Tell him that the first to come is always the first to go," Raven concluded grimly, picking up her mirror and making it vanish, probably into another dimension.

"No way am I going to let you go out there, Raven. No way," Cyborg smiled, though it was forced. "Nice try, though."

Raven's face looked pained, wanting to comfort Cyborg, and run out the door at the same time.

"Cyborg, you have to let me leave. I-I can't stay here."

"Why?" Cyborg demanded. "Why can't you stay?"

Raven bit her lip, so hard that a trickle of crimson blood slid down her pale chin. Starfire gasped, but stayed her distance.

"I can't tell you now. But I promise, I swear, one day I will," Raven said, wiping the blood off of her face. In a second of blue energy, the minor wound was healed.

"That's not good enough! If you're going to leave us forever--" Cyborg cried, flailing his arms around wildly.

"I never said that."

The wind whistled through Raven's open window, and the three avoided each's eyes.

"Raven, if you are to leave, when will you return?" Starfire asked softly, looking down.

"I can't lie to you. It might... It might take a while." Raven said quietly.

"NO! RAVEN, I CAN'T LET YOU LEAVE! I WON'T LET YOU!" Cyborg roared, blocking the door.

Starfire and Raven stared at him.

"Cyborg... Friend... Raven is to come back. It is only temporary," Starfire said gently, touching his arm. He looked at her violently.

"Starfire, don't you understand? She's not really going to come back. I mean--"

Cyborg was knocked cold before he touched the ground.

Raven lowered her arms, the black energy slowly fading from her fingertips. Starfire looked at her slowly, eyes tired from seeing everything they didn't want to.

Raven pulled up her hood, leaving only a pale shadow of her face left. Starfire bent down next to Cyborg.

"He's unconscious. That's it," Raven said, turning toward the window and shivering. "Cold out isn't it?"

Starfire picked herself up. "Cold?"

Raven didn't answer.

"Raven... Why did you come back?"

"I-I don't know. Something pull--Nevermind," Raven said hurridly. "Just a feeling."

"Beast Boy had your cloak before, where--"

"I have extras."

"Oh... Where do you plan to go?"

"Somewhere safe."

"Are you going to be in contact with us?"

"Maybe."

"Is there--" Starfire began, but Raven held up a palm.

"I have to go now," Raven said sternly, opening the window wider, just wide enough for a person to get out of. "See--See you later, Starfire."

And with that, Raven levitated out the window and into the damp night.

.oOo.

"Hello? Raven?! Guys? Anyone?!" Beast Boy ran through the front doors of Titan Tower, panting. Silence greeted him. He ran up the stairs, everything deadly quiet.

"Beast Boy?" Raven's voice echoed in his head. "Beast Boy..." Her voice faded and died.

"NO! No, Raven, are you here? You _are_ here! Where are you Raven?" Beast Boy cried, looking wildly around for her.

"Beast Boy!" A joyous voice yelled. Beast Boy found a pair of thin arms around his waist, hugging him tightly.

"D-did you hear that?" Beast Boy asked, not pulling away from Starfire, but not hugging back either.

Starfire's pretty face filled with worry. She pulled back. "What?"

Beast Boy looked down. "Nevermind," He said, his eyes clouding over. A pause.

"Raven was here and--" Starfire began.

"She was?! Is she still here? Is she--" Hope leapt up like a flying plane.

"She said she had to leave. She didn't say why." The plane crashed.

Beast Boy's heart started hammering loudly in his ears. "S-she left?"

"Oh! But don't worry! She said she was coming back!" Starfire said, not mentioning that it would take a while.

"I don't think so, Starfire. I really don't think so," Beast Boy said very quietly, staring at the ground. "Did Raven... Uh... Did she say anything about... What happened?"

"No, no she did not," Starfire said, thinking of their argument. "But she does say it's not your fault, and she... Loves you."

Beast Boy's eyes welled up in tears. He took a deep breath and bit his cheek.

"Is Robin here?" Beast Boy said slowly, taking even breaths.

"No, not yet," Starfire replied. "It has been a while... I wonder what's taking him."

Beast Boy swayed on his feet. Starfire noticed this, and tried to lead him to a chair, but Beast Boy refused.

"I-I'm just gonna go in my room for a while," Beast Boy whispered, rubbing his head. He felt the tears spring up again, and turned away from Starfire. She nodded.

"Yes. It would be for the best," She said, watching him intently.

Beast Boy walked silently into the hall. Starfire watched him go a distance, morph into a bat, and fly up the stairs.

.oOo.

Hidden only by a jagged cliff, Raven was silent, watching the waves roll in. Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she hugged her knees. She pulled out a dagger from her cloak and turned it over and over in the sand, making little circles. Then, with a sigh, Raven tossed it into the water and put her head on her knees.

"Uuuggh," Someone moaned from the shadows. Raven's head shot up.

"Who's there?!" Raven hissed, jumping up. She scanned the beach. A green glove poked out from a wave.

"What? W-who's there?" Raven's eyes went wild, the world spinning out of control. A black flash of energy. Red hair. A scream.

Suddenly Raven was knee-deep in the water, searching madly for the hand. She was finding it hard to see, the light rain clouding her vision, and every article of clothing added twice its usual amount due to the water, adding to her misery.

Go on, Raven thought desperately, show me it's just a glove. Prove me wrong. Please. Trembling, her hands grasped the glove...

And felt a hand.

.oOo.

It's like time has stopped. I reach for my grappling hook--And find nothing. In my haste to get out, I had forgotten it, along with everything else. Wind howls in my ears, everything clouded by rain and tears. But it's the wind that's making me cry. Really.

I hit the water, the force nearly taking my conciousness. Everything's cold. Too cold. I can hardly breathe, the pressure building up on my lungs. I can feel my limbs go numb, and suddenly nothing worth it anymore. I stop trying and just let the water consume me. My head's pounding, I can barely keep my eyes open, and the last bit of me slips away. I can feel my last breath escape my blue lips.

Everything's cold. Too cold.

.oOo.

Author's Note:

Eh... Whatever...


	4. What The Heck?

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

.oOo.

"Robin! No! Oh my god," Raven whispered. "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos."

Cloaked in black energy, Robin looked so helpless, so limp. Raven pulled her legs forward, the current pushing against her. Rain splattered against her skin, like icy bullets. Something slithered against Raven's thighs, and she nearly dropped Robin.

Pulling her cloak up with one hand, and controlling Robin with the other, Raven frantically searched for a hard, flat surface. Lying him down gently, she racked her brain for how to preform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Pinching Robin's nose, Raven shakily blew in his mouth a couple of times. _What if I'm doing this wrong?_ She thought. _I can't lose anyone_ _else._

After a while, he showed signs of life. Small signs, but signs none the less. Raven pulled back, but still very close to Robin's limp body. He weakly opened his mouth, the color slowly returning to his face. Then Robin began coughing, softly at first, but then turning into a bone-wracking choke. Raven put a hand on his shoulder, crouching down near him, inspecting him.

His whole body seemed frail, and he was shaking slightly. Robin blinked very slowly, eyes not yet focused. He tried to get up, but Raven's firm arm stopped him. Robin turned his head toward her.

"Red... X... Bridge... Fell... Soooo... Cold..." Robin rasped, gripping Raven's arm. She took in a breath at the tightness of his grip. He stared at her with eerily blank eyes. Suddenly Robin lunged toward Raven, violently pressing his lips against hers. Raven felt the coldness of his body against hers, the fragileness of Robin's once confident body. She pulled back, and Robin swayed back and forth, and started to fall backwards. Raven gasped sharply, and pulled him near her.

A strangled cry broke through the night, and Raven's head was up in a flash.

Beast Boy stared up at her, eyes filled with hate.

.oOo.

_"What have you done, Cyborg? You let her get away. You let the team down."_

"No, no I didn't! She-she said she was coming back."

_"That's a lie. Everything you know is a lie. A hidious, filthy-"_

"No! It's not a lie. Raven doesn't lie."

_"Right. What about the dragon boy in her room? She told you all about that, huh?"_

"Well, I-"

_"Answer me!"_

"No. She didn't."

_"I told you. I'm right. I'm always right."_

"I don't even know who you are!"

_"Ignorance is bliss."_

Starfire watched in horror as Cyborg violently argued with... Himself. She had tried to talk to him, but one of his voices always got to him before she did. Starfire needed someone to help her, but Beast Boy was asleep, she presumed, and didn't want to wake him up.

"This-this isn't happening! Make it go away!"

Starfire took a step toward Cyborg, nearly hitting Raven's bed. He had refused to go anywhere other than Raven's room, so she waited, fear gnawing at her insides.

_"Get back, foolish girl!"_

Starfire stopped, frightened beyond reason. What was so scary to her was it wasn't even Cyborg's voice. It was a deep, rumbling voice, filled with hate.

"No-Starfire! Stop! Leave! I can't-"

_"Shut up!"_

"NO! Starfire, get help, I-I don't know what's happening to me-"

_"Leave now, idiot girl!"_

Starfire closed her eyes, thinking. Cyborg wasn't right, that was obvious. Maybe a problem in his systems? Only Cyborg knew how to detect a problem in his systems. What to do, she mused. Cyborg couldn't control his voice... How would she get him to a hospital? She opened her eyes. Cyborg was kneeling on the floor, crying softly. His other voice was shouting insults nonstop. _The same way Raven got to him to let her leave_, a small, usually quiet voice in her head said. _Is there no other way?_ She thought. Turning to Cyborg, she decided to try once more.

"Cyborg, please try to be calm. For all of us," Starfire said steadily.

_"For all of us? Who is us? You have no one, stupid alien girl. NO ONE!"_

"Star I've been trying-" Cyborg started angrily, wiping away his tears.

_"You know no one likes you? No one cares! Why'd think Raven knocked you out? For fun?"_

"Stop! STOP! Starfire help me, please-"

Starfire knew what she was going to do. Lowering her eyes, she shot a single starbolt at Cyborg's chest. And for the second time that night, he fell unconscious.

.oOo.

"I-I can't believe you, Raven," Beast Boy said quietly. "Robin? Why Robin? Didn't you love me?"

"No, Beast Boy, I still-" Raven tried to explain.

"You didn't love me, huh? I always suspected it. You and Robin were always closer than anyone else," Beast Boy mused. "Spending so much time together, always sitting next to him, always talking to him-"

"Beast Boy! It isn't like that! I love you, not Robin," Raven frantically tried to get up, but Robin moaned and grabbed onto her cloak. She stopped trying.

"No, really, it's okay. You don't have to lie anymore," Beast Boy said softly. His voice was filled with pain, and his eyes were dark.

"Please stop it, Beast Boy. You know I love you," Raven said, her voice filled with desperation.

"Don't worry Raven, you can have Robin. I don't think I wanted you anyway," Beast Boy spoke calmly, almost too calmly. "I mean, you were the only open source at the time, and since Terra was gone, I donno. I guess I just got really desperate."

Raven's eyes clouded over. She could see what he was doing. Trying to make her feel the pain she had made him feel. And it was working.

"Stop it."

"December 14, 2004. Today Robin and I talked for hours. I don't know why I feel attached to him, but I do. We talked about our troubles, my past," Beast Boy looked up from Raven's diary entry in his hand. "I didn't know you talked to Robin about your past. You never talked to me about that. Anyway-"

"Where did you get that?" Raven growled. Then she realized something. "You went through my drawers!"

"I'm beginning to know Robin even better than before. He's a much better listener than Beast Boy, or anyone else. He can actually think about things, and find out answers to the questions I ask him," Beast Boy continued loudly, ignoring Raven's angry cries. "Beast Boy, however, just makes inappropriate comments at all the wrong times, and starts arguments every five minutes. Robin's a sweet, kind, caring soul, while Beast Boy-"

"Stop it! I didn't mean any of that! I was mad, I wasn't thinking right-"

"Beast Boy only cares for himself, and his games. I swear, he loves his games more than me. I can't wait for the day to come when he abandones his games for me. Like that'll ever happen," Beast Boy paused. "So what about all of the times I helped you when your powers got out of control? I guess that was all a game, too."

"Please, Beast Boy, I'm sorry. Really, truly, sorry!" Raven yells, stirring Robin up. He looked around wildly, then slumped back on Raven's shoulders. Beast Boy raised an eyebrow at this, and continued to read.

"Now someone's at my door. Great. It's probably Beast Boy, again. To try and tell me about some stupid new video game he got for fifty cents. Great. Later, Raven," Beast Boy finished, looking up from the scrap of paper.

"I only kept this because I thought it was the last piece of you I'd ever have."

And with that, he tossed the paper into the ocean. Raven looked sadly at the paper, then at Beast Boy. She had messed up bad. And knew it too.

Pushing Robin off of her, Raven ran up to Beast Boy and held him tightly. "Please, Beast Boy, forgive me. Robin, he was-is-not in his right mind. I swear, I don't love him. I love you. Please, I'm begging you, I just want us to be happy before I leave."

Beast Boy shoved Raven away, nearly knocking her over the rock she climed onto.

"Yeah, well, good luck with that," Beast Boy snorted. "I never should have dated you. Terra would-"

"Terra's a rock. A stupid, solid, stone, _rock_," Raven said hotheadedly, crossing her arms. Robin closed his eyes in pain and lay down, rain covering him like an icy blanket. "She was a traitor, a liar, and a horrible person!"

"She _was_... My best friend," Beast Boy said quietly, sadly. Raven instantly felt guilt, and stepped out toward Beast Boy. Then he spun around, and with anger in his eyes he said, "She was one of the best people I've ever met, and a hell of a lot better than you ever were!"

"Take that back," Raven growled, freezing on the spot. A small rock was absorbed by black energy and crushed in seconds.

"_Terra_ never let a dragon loose! _Terra_ never refused to show emotion! And Terra, _Terra never_ had a prophecy made about her to _destroy_ the world!" Beast Boy screamed at her. That was it for Raven. Her eyes glowed red, and suddenly she was four times her normal size. Four gleaming red demon eyes stared Beast Boy down like helpless prey, waiting for its painful, bloody, death. He stumbled back, gasping and grabbing for a safe place.

_"SPEAK AGAIN OF THAT GIRL AND I SHALL RIP YOUR SCALP OFF AND FEED IT TO THE DEMONS THAT LURK IN THE DARKNESS OF THIS CITY!"_ Raven roared, towering over Beast Boy. His eyes showed intense fear, then sadness and pain. Beast Boy stopped struggling.

"Kill me. Go ahead. There's nothing else to live for," Beast Boy said calmly, staring Raven straight in the eye. "What's one more murder on your record?"

_"MERE MORTAL, YOU WILL REGET THOSE WORDS!"_ Raven growled, swooping down onto Beast Boy, her cloak absorbing Beast Boy like much needed food. A small cry left Beast Boy's throat, and he dissolved into the darkness of Raven.

.oOo.

The first thing I saw was Terra. Battered and bloody, she was moaning in pain. He could hear from her voice, the only thing she wanted to do was curl up and die. I rush towards her, rocking her gently. She looks up weakly, and I feel blood-cold blood-rush out of the multiple wounds on her body.

"Terra, w-what happened to you?" I cry, tears falling from my eyes. They land on Terra's fragile body and seem to burn her skin. She cries out and grips my arm, and tears stream down her face. Red tears. Tears of blood.

"Beast Boy... I have to tell you something," Terra rasped, coughing. I look down at her and smile weakly, though I feel like sobbing.

"Tell me anything," I say, my chin shaking. Terra opens her eyes, the only part of her that's not caked in dried blood. She turns away, red tears still brimming in her icy blue eyes.

"I... I'm sorry... But... I never loved you," Terra said tearfully. "I had to pretend to help my old mission... I'm really sorry. I wish I could take it back."

I could tell you, right then, at that single moment, I had never felt so hopeless.

"T-T-Terra? Please tell me you don't mean that. Please, Terra, please!" I sob, grasping her lifeless hands.

"I can't lie to you anymore. My soul-I-need to be true... When I die," Terra croaks. With a sigh, a small, ragged sigh, she closes her eyes one final time. I burst into tears, salty tears that wash over my face, clouding my eyes. Then she dissolves into nothing, smoke rising above her limp body. I watch it, comforted slightly, rise higher than any bird.

Suddenly the smoke-Terra's smoke-twists and turns until it's the face of the devil. Black flames burn the face, and it cackles horribly. Unable to contain my fear, I run away, far, far, away, with tears raining down on my skin.

I stop, gasping and panting. Where am I? Where was I? I don't remember. The grin of the devil. Smoke. Black flames. That's it. I look around. It's gray, and bleak, and filled with fog. I see a large black tree stump in the near distance, and I sit down.

I take one long, slow breath. The cool fog air is comforting to my lungs, and this little bit of relief soothes me. Numbness spreads toward my torso. I try and take another breath, but can't. The air chokes me, its coldness beginning to become unbearable. Again I try to breathe, but still cannot. I panic, leaping up. An invisible cloth, made of fog, has somehow made its way into my mouth and nose. I choke and cough, the numbness spreading to my legs and feet. I need oxygen. Badly. My eyes water, and the tears freeze up almost instantly. I can feel myself slipping away.

As the darkness blankets me, I see one last thing. A person. It's Raven, in a red cloak. She's laughing.

.oOo.

Hey guys! Thanks so much for the reviews! They make me all giddy inside.

Er.

Yeah.

Please review! I've got bran muffins...

Wait, what'd ya mean no one likes bran muffins?

_I_ like bran muffins!

Alright... How's about a new chapter, then?

Right. Well.

S (Sorry)

S (So)

S (Short!)


	5. Ooh Cliffie!

Disclaimer: I don't own it. 

"So you say he's shown schizophrenic symptoms?" The gray, balding doctor said, snapping on rubber gloves. He picked up a thick file and began reading. Then he smiled. "A Teen Titan, eh?"

"I do not know of this 'schizophrenic symptoms' but he has been talking to himself, and making threats to me, and himself, and" Starfire began.

"Yes, yes, I've seen it all before. How long has this be going on?" The doctor frowned, flipping through the file pages. Starfire screwed up her face in concentration.

"I first saw it after-" Starfire stopped. Was she supposed to tell that Raven left? The doctor raised an eyebrow.

"After his girlfriend left him," Starfire finished lamely. "About the twenty-second hour of the day."

"And it was so severe-" The doctor tapped his fingers lightly on the file case.

"I had to make him unconcious to travel here," Starfire finished sadly. The doctor nodded, pity in his eyes.

"We'll need to give him some minor medications; Do some tests; Manual things like that. For now he'll have to stay here. Don't worry, dear. I'm sure, in due time, he'll be back to normal. Even better, perhaps!" The old man cackled. Starfire's face still reflected fear.

"Now, now. Don't you worry, sweetheart, maybe you should go wait in the waiting room, eh?"

"Yes... Perhaps I should..." Starfire sighed slowly, tears stinging her emerald eyes. The hunched doctor helped her out the door.

Starfire turned around, thin arms gripping the doctor's clean white sleeves. "Thank you, sir. Thank you for helping me."

The doctor nodded, smiling sadly. Starfire took one last look at him, then walked out.

.oOo.

"Doctor Richards? Sir?" A feeble, sandy-haired volunteer peeped out. "Do you have-Hey, are you okay?"

The gray man looked up, sadness in his eyes. "You know, I've only lost one paitient in fourty-three years?" He said it as a question, as a statement. The volunteer nodded.

"I think I'm about to lose another."

.oOo.

I slowly open my eyes, they weighing more than I could imagine. I'm no longer in that horrible, dark, gray place. This time, I'm in Raven's room. Before I can wonder what horror awaits me, I hear a knock at the door. Raven walks up to it, smiling widely. She never smiled like that with me.

"Robin," Raven breathes. "You're here." I can hear the excitement in her voice, the love she rarely showed with me. I walk over to the door, my heart weighing more than the heaviest rock.

"Raven..." Robin whispers. Raven's smile grows.

"Yes?" I see her lean towards Robin, and anger bleeds through me.

"Nothing... It's just... You're so beautiful," He says, closing the tiny space between them. I can't stand watching this. I turn away, tears of hate bubbling in my eyes.

"Oh, Robin," Raven coos. I whip around, hating it all along. I see Raven running her fingers through Robin's hair, and I feel sick with disgust. I can feel sweat soak through my clothes, anger prickling my skin like tiny, sharp needles, drawing blood with each stab. Robin smiles, and leans in to kiss her. They're an inch away when I slam my fist into his face. But it does nothing. My hand goes through Robin's head. Bewildered, I stare at my wrists. My hands are gone. I try to morph into a bird andfly out of here, but can't. I can't morph. My hands are gone. I don't know what kind of sick world Raven put me in, but I wish I was anywhere but here.

"Can you believe Beast Boy still doesn't know about us?" I hear Raven say, pulling back a little. "It's been five months, already."

"Pathetic, really," Robin says back. I grit my teeth so hard I can practically feel them cracking in their enamel-coated coverings. They kiss again, and I can't stand it anymore.

Screaming my lungs out into the black night, I now know what true pain feels like.

.oOo.

_"The night awaits you, Victor. Wreck havoc and misery, pain and anger, suffering among the worthless. They deserve it. You know it."_

"STOP! Please, shut up!" Cyborg yelled weakly, his hoarse voice cracking. Thick metal bars strapped him down to a cold, metal table, wires attached to the little human skin he still had. Frowning, wrinkled, little doctors walked around, their voices melting into some kind of sick music.

_"Not good signals I'm getting."_

_"Looks like an internal virus!"_

_"Have you ever seen something like this?"_

_"We can't possibly operate, can we?"_

"Listen! Doctors!" A blonde woman called out. Hearing this, the doctors quieted. She was obviously their leader. "We will continue to run tests. If, in fact, he has an internal virus, we must re-wire his systems. If he does not, we'll give him the normal medications."

"But Doctor Simms, this is not a normal human! If we re-wire him, we may disrupt his human qualities! If he gets medications, will that affect his non-human ones?" A particularly hairy man spoke out. The blonde doctor looked out sadly at him.

"That, I do not know. This is my first case with a hybrid. After the test results come in, I'll have to make my decision. But for now, we wait," The doctor commanded. She took a chair next to Cyborg.

"What's wrong with you?" She murmured to him. Cyborg looked at her with his large hazelnut eye.

"I don't know."

.oOo.

The waiting room was humid, too humid, sticky, and had a stench that reminded Starfire of vomit. Which wouldn't be too hard to imagine, with all the screaming toddlers running around, their faces green with illness. She spotted a lone chair in the back, next to a sobbing redhead. Most people avoided her.

"Ma'am? Are you alright?" Starfire questioned, her caring nature making her speak. The woman, lines of age splattered over her pretty face, looked up at her. Her jaw trembled, and then the tears returned.

"My... My daughter... Was killed... Murdered..." The poor woman sobbed, putting her head in her hands. Starfire gasped, and put an arm around her. She could practically feel this woman's pain, it was so deep.

"I'm so very sorry," Starfire sniffed. "I hope the horrible murderer is caught."

"She was seventeen," The woman cried softly, rubbing her eyes. Soon she was back to sobbing. "You're not supposed to die when you're seventeen!"

Starfire didn't know what to say, so she just rubbed the woman's back.

"Who are you?" The woman snapped, her head shooting up. Starfire looked agast, and recoiled her arm."Coming in here, like you own the place!"

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again," Starfire said warily, tired of being yelled at. She got up out of her chair.

"No! Please, I'm sorry," The woman cried, grabbing Starfire's arm. "I-I didn't mean it... It's just... Since my daughter d-d-died, I've just been so paranoid. I mean I think everyone's after me, and-"

"I know of this paranoia," Starfire said sadly, slowly. "One of my best friends is dating my other best friend, and always thinks she is cheating on him, he's always fighting with her, and now she's gone. I do not know why."

"Oh, no," The woman scolded. "That's not right, fighting at such a young age. I'm sure your friend will be back soon. I remember when I ran away once. I was gone for about three hours." She smiled faintly, a reminder of better days. Starfire also smiled, though all she felt like doing was crying.

"Yes," Starfire said, convincing herself more than the woman next to her, "I'm sure she'll be back soon."

But in her heart, she knew Raven would not come back.

.oOo.

"Hey," A smooth, loving voice called out. "Beast Boy. It's me. Wake up."

Beast Boy didn't open his eyes, instead shutting them tightly and muttering non-understandable things under his breath. "No. It's not you."

"No. It's not Raven. It's a part of her. The good part," The lavender-cloaked Raven urged, shaking Beast Boy gently, wrapping an arm around him.

Beast Boy tenderly opened one eye. "Where am I?"

"The violet room," Raven said bitterly, her grip on Beast Boy tightening.

"_What_?" Beast Boy snapped, pushing Raven's arm off of him. "I'm _where_?"

"The violet room. The room where Raven puts her unruly emotions. Everyone has been here at least once. She only lets us out when she wants to," The emotion continued, gesturing around to the-true-to-its-name room. It was painted violet, with no decoration whatsoever. Plain violet. Lots of it. There was a door, but it had a thick silver lock chained to its doorknob.

Beast Boy sat there for a moment, taking it all in. "So... What emotion are you?" Beast Boy said, looking around the room.

"Love," She said simply. Beast Boy slowly turned his head to her. "I've been here a lot."

Beast Boy's eyes got large and sympathetic. "I'm sorry she keeps you locked up in here."

Love's face brightened, if only a bit. "Thank you, Beast Boy."

A moment of thoughtful silence filled the room, and then Love spoke out again.

"You know, Raven isn't a bad person," Love said casually, looking at Beast Boy. Just being in the same room with her made him feel more at ease, more... well... loved.

"I know."

"You're so sweet sometimes, Beast Boy," Love whispered, stroking his cheek with a slender finger. He shivered at the touch.

"Are you just saying that?" Beast Boy whispered back, not really caring if she did or didn't.

"I think you're the best thing that's ever happened to this room," Love smiled, wrapping her arms around him. "You're the best thing that's happened to Raven."

"I don't think so," Beast Boy snorted. His tone was light, but his eyes were full of despair. Once again, he pushed her away. "Don't you think she-er-you love Robin more?"

Love's face fell. She stared down into her lap, fingering her cloak. "That's the thing," Love began, chewing at her lower lip. "I don't know."

"What do you mean, _I don't know_!" Beast Boy shouted, getting up off of the violet floor. "You're supposed to say me! _Beast Boy_! Not Robin!"

"Oh, God, please don't yell. I-I just can't think like this," Love stammered, herchin trembling. Beast Boy let out a deep breath.

"I'm sorry."

"No, no! I should be sorry! I don't know how this happened! I never used to love Robin! I-I don't think I do... But still... A part of me wants to... A part of me tells me to..." Love yelled, covering her face with her hands. "I'm complicated. Raven's complicated. What she-I-feel might be just a minor spark, or-"

"Well you shouldn't have any _sparks_! I'm her boyfriend, for Christ's sake! Please, just tell me what I want to hear right now. I don't care if it's true or not. I just can't take anymore of this."

Love didn't respond at once. But then, after a moment of painful silence, she spoke. "I can't lie. Love-true love-it doesn't lie." Love took a deep breath.

"Raven loves"

The padlocked door burst open.

.oOo.

(Author's Note:

Hey guys!

Thank you sooo much for reviewing!

Tosses out bran muffins in every direction. One hits me in the head.-

Oh hey I just wanted to say I'm not a Robin/Raven person. So yeah, even though this story has some rav/rob stuff, it's a

bb/rae story at heart!

Uggggh I hate the ending! Well, I don't hate it... But it's not my favorite...

Uhh... I'd say more but...

I gotta go do my homework and sorry its short but I try, and uh, yeah, ok.

Byeeeeeeeeee!)


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